Strawberries

The title of my blog is the positive stepmom. I am feeling far from positive this morning. I try so hard to not allow my stepson to get under my skin and drive me crazy....but i do constantly!  I have even identified the cycle that we go thru and yet do I stop? do I try to make things work? I feel like every day esp on the days when it is just the two of us I have to put on my armour and build a brick wall and duct tape my mouth. to keep a shred of sanity!!!!!! Why?????  This morning I made the SS breakfast waffle with peanut butter and syrup, just the way he likes it. and because I am trying to go above and beyond and look out for the nutrition of this little boy i made... GASP!!! fresh sliced strawberries and sliced bananas with vanilla yogurt. Well SS devoured the waffle and then announced that he was not eating the fruit. I told him that he needed to b/c that is part of his breakfast. 10 min later. " Ihate strawberries"!  Now I probably could have just said "ok thats fine take your plate to the sink." NOOOOO instead I make it an issue and insist that he eats his strawberries!!!  10min pass......he is still not eating the strawberries and says "Can I be done now? I hate stawberries and I hate the outside part". Now before go any further let me tell you that I made this same fruit dish as a side to go with our dinner a few weeks ago and he ate it just fine then!! In  fact he loved it! But today he is sitting at the table crying because he doesn't want to eat his strawberries. This makes me mad So I say " Fine! do whatever you want!! I don't care!!!" So the morning starts with me locked in my room crying and him downstairs crying. I feel so frustrated,dissapointed in myself for losing my temper. Hopeless because being  a stepmom SUCKS at times. and I wonder if it will EVER get any better? Will i some day wake up and say WOW this was totally worth it?   But until that day arrives I have to make an action plan for the rest of this day until 5pm when his father will come home and I can turn all over to him once more.
He knows this drives me crazy and I know it drives me crazy. This is the hardest job I have ever had  and I just hope that someday I reach a point where I can say that is has all been worth it. Until then I have to remember that I can only control myself a nd my actions and my happiness. SO I once again I will step down from my "super stepmom" platform and not worry about things so much and just remember what my priorities are.
I'm feeling  better already
Have a great Weekend!!!